Ex-WWE star Chyna hasn’t exactly put her recent moment back in the spotlight to great use. In fact, it seems more like she should take a step – a very big step – as far away from it as possible.

To further continue this weekend of baffling butt-related wrestling stuff, Chyna took to her YouTube page to post a ‘fan-requested’ video of her twerking. You know, ‘fan-requested,’ like that ‘girlfriend from Canada’ you totally had in middle school. TMZ referred to it as putting “the final nail in the dance craze’s coffin,” and based on the video above, I can’t help but hope with every fibre of my being that it’s true.

If that weren’t enough to make you worry, she then posted this video called 50 SHADES OF GREEN, and yes, it uses that breathy remix of Crazy in Love just like you think. It also involves a semi-striptease and putting her mouth on a stuffed Kermit the Frog toy that’s been hung from the ceiling. I…feel like nobody requested that one, to be honest.

Lammily, “the realistic fashion doll”, hit the shelves last holiday season and definitely stood out from the gaggle of Barbie dolls that adorn the toy store shelves. According to Today, the doll was created by 26 year-old artist Nickolay Lamm whose fundraising campaign raised $500,000 for the prototype in one month:

Just like Barbie and her friends, the Lammily dolls have fashion outfits and accessories, but these too are little more “normal” than Barbie’s.

In addition to clothing sets that celebrate different countries, accessories for Lammily dolls include re-usable vinyl stickers that can be used to add real-life marks to the dolls, including stretch marks, freckles, acne, moles, grass stains, dirt stains, stitches and temporary tattoos.

“You can also add minor cuts and bruises, like ones you’d get from falling down while snowboarding,” said Lamm.

19-year-old Lammily here just wants to make her own awesome mix-tape. Those bikini clad dolls posting photos to social networks don’t phase her none. Neither do the scantily clad dolls twerking at what looks like a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. All ends well enough when Lammilly hits the beach and throws an impromptu dance party for all the flawed dolls of the world to dance to — stretch marks, acne, dirt stains and all.

(Source: Today / Lammily)

This is a video of Rob Gronkowski twerking at Monday night’s Los Angeles Clippers game.
This is proof that Rob Gronkowski has more fun than you or I.
This is also proof that the “Summer of Gronk” is more or less the “Life of Gronk.”

(Vine via Arash Markazi)

I wouldn’t blame you if you refused to read this based on the phrase “Instagram twerks,” but it involves rapidly-jiggly ladybutts, so I urge you to stick with it.

We live in a twerk-obessed, post-Miley Cyrus world. “Twerk” has been added to the Oxford Dictionary, Jimmy Kimmel is manipulating a world of people who thought a lady would seriously twerk above a table covered in lit candles and every day Miley herself is somewhere making a dwarf twerk and making it worse. There is no end in sight. Cough.

Knowing this, WTA #2-ranked tennis pro Victoria Azarenka took to the most Miley Cyrus of phone apps, Instagram, and shared an exercise machine-assisted twerk. Lay down and take it, Internet.

Needs more Don’t Drop That Thun Thun. Can somebody convince Maria Sharapova to upload a video yet? Better yet, can somebody fish Anna Kournikova out of storage and teach her how to twerk?

Hey guys, did you know that Miley Cyrus is controversial? Did you know that she’s in your face and expressing herself and that you’re all haters because only God can judge ya? She’s the original dog from Hell!

Anyway, Miley is an integral part of Mike WiLL Made It, Wiz Khalifa and Juicy J’s new video ’23,’ a song that honors NBA legend Michael Jordan’s ability to have expensive shoes named after him. It’s disrespectful to Jordan himself — Gotty over at The Smoking Section referred to it as “spraying over a rival gang’s tags on the wall disrespect” — but I thought I’d go through it frame-by-frame and examine the 23 worst things about it. You know, because ’23.’

First, the video:

Eventually we’re gonna find out that Miley’s just two Buzzfeed employees masquerading as a teen girl, aren’t we?

Okay, before I begin I have to note that a lot of these aren’t problems exclusive to the ’23’ video and are just problems in music videos period, but I’ve got 23 slides to get through, so give me a break.

The plot of the video is such: rappers sneak into a high school principal’s office and use BEATS BY DRE BRAND PILL SPEAKER to play their new song over the intercom, which works and causes an impromptu pep rally even though the lighting would suggest it’s like 6:30 in the afternoon. In the first thirty minute of the video there are close-ups of iPhones and Beats logos and Gucci beanies. I keep expecting Jay-Z to jump in from the corner yelling, “AND ALSO, BURBERRY.”

I don’t wanna tell you not to brag, but you

1. snuck into a high school
2. lured a principal away with a bouncing basketball
3. are using a high school intercom to promote your song
4. a song that is 70% Miley Cyrus
5. a song that is about how much you like shoes

But hey, congratulations on cornering the gay urban teen market.

His shirt number.

thanks for clarifying, though, I thought they were talking about that Jim Carrey movie

Somebody convinced Miley Cyrus that “sex” and “smoking” are what differentiate children from adults, so she’s spent all year doing those things in front of people as much as possible. Lindsay Lohan did the same thing, where she kept trying to shoehorn cigarettes into every movie or photoshoot she did until she was working exclusively in the medium of “stand there and smoke.”

Be an adult as much as you want, Smiley, but maybe there’s a reason you’re a 20-year old with old lady hands.

Nobody should be wearing a jersey dress in 2013, much less one stitched together with two half-jerseys and a shower ring. Earlier in the video she’s wearing Jordan jersey high-waisted underpants. They sorta look like a Jordan jersey diaper.

It might’ve been cute if Miley was just, I don’t know, wearing a jersey, right? It doesn’t have to be underpants all the time. Adults are allowed to wear pants and still be cool. James Dean almost always wore pants.

#tryingtoohard

do you, because if not, here you go

Miley’s gonna make fetch happen with that foam finger, isn’t she?

This sudden pep rally becomes really funny if you pretend they’re paying homage to the worst video of all time:

It’s hard to type “Mike WiLL Made It” with a straight face. It’s like typing A Pimp Named Slickback. What’s with the weird tendency to turn “will” into a complete sentence? Between this and “will.I.am” I’m not sure we should allow people named “Will” anything to make it. Meet your new favorite rapper, WILL KNOW ME BY THE TRAIL OF BLACK EMPERORS

He’s a scientist! He’s got weed and helicopters! Somebody sent him an e-mail that read, “record a verse for this Miley Cyrus song, it’s about shoes” and he just went “SHOES, YEAH” and followed it up with some shit he’s interested in.

It’s like whenever somebody has to record a verse for a Bieber song. Nicki Minaj just googles “Justin Bieber” and writes down the first 10 search results.

yes, exactly like Michael Jordan

Nobody plays basketball in the ’23’ video, sorta like how nobody mentions Michael Jordan other than his tongue and his shoes. They just sit under a basketball goal in a gym and awkwardly touch it, and the basketballs are glittery. Juicy J should make a golf video where he just puts on golf clothes and stands in a bowling alley.

All this video needs is the principal yelling, “CYRUSSSSSS” and shaking his fists in the air.

There’s a line in the song about how he’s got 30 pairs of Js that haven’t been released yet — such as the beautiful Plush-crested Jay (Cyanocorax chrysops) — and one of the names he drops is the “Space Jam 11.” He’s talking about shoes, but … still. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live in a world where

1. Space Jam got 10 sequels
2. I have not seen 10-of-11 Space Jam movies

Miley’s probably great at basketball. To her credit, she thought Khalifa said “hit it like an anime cat.”

Nice of Miley to bring back the cast of Clueless for this video.

There are a lot of people in this picture, and Miley might be the best-dressed one. That’s … not good.

Did you like Miley Cyrus smoking? Then you’ll LOVE Miley Cyrus saying curse words, because cursing means you’re an adult! The smoking/adding curse words to pop songs combo has worked well for Pink and Avril Lavigne, so if those two disingenuous Caucasian ladies could make it, so will she. She don’t give a f*ck! Hee hee!

Her Js so fly, she should work at Flight Club! If you don’t get that reference, what she’s saying is, “my shoes are nice, so I should work at the shoe store.” And “fly” and “flight” mean similar things. I’d give this line more grief if she hadn’t prefaced it with “MC Hammer fly … you can’t touch!” Miley, you were negative 2 when that came out.

quick, somebody call Terry Richardson, nobody’s putting random objects in their mouth

Needs more mullet pony.

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Big Freedia is a recording artist in the genre of bounce who hails from New Orleans. I am not sure which gender pronoun to use in relation to Big Freedia, as various sources call Big Freedia alternately “he” and “she.” So I will say, simply but also not so simply, “Big Freedia.”

Big Freedia now holds an official Guinness World Record, in the category of “Most People Twerking Simultaneously.” Big Freedia gathered 258 dancers in New York’s Herald Square and had them all twerk for two minutes. Here’s a list of rules about what qualifies as twerking devised by a Guinness judge:

1. Body must remain upright, with movement concentrated in hips
2. Participants can put hands on knees or hips for support
3. Twerking action cannot come from knees – hips only
4. Freestyling or additional choreography not permitted – no hands on the ground, feet in the air, twirling, etc.
5. Twerking action must be synchronized, can be at own pace
6. All participants must twerk simultaneously for two minutes when Big Freedia gives the signal
7. Any performers who do not participate fully for the entire two minutes will be deducted from the final total

Jeez, so many rules. I remember when twerking was just something teenagers and pop stars and sometimes dogs did for fun.

Anyway, congratulations, Big Freedia. You have really earned this.

(via Fuse)

(via Getty Image)

While the official rules state that the deadline is tonight at 11:59:59 PM ET, rapper and Three Six Mafia founding member Juicy J claims that the submission deadline for his college scholarship contest has already come and gone. Now, according to his website, Juicy J is currently reviewing all of the video submissions that he has received ever since he offered a $50,000 scholarship* to go along with his new aptly-titled single, “Scholarship.”

According to the rules, one lucky lady will receive the fat stack of cash by simply explaining why she deserves it and incorporating “Scholarship” into the video somehow, and because it includes the line “Keep twerking, baby, might earn you a scholarship,” at least one entrant has submitted a video of herself twerking, and that video has become a mild YouTube hit.

The young woman in the video is Northern Kentucky University freshman Morgan Bruin, who claims that she wants the scholarship so that she can eventually “join the Peace Corps and stuff.” She has my vote, Juicy J.

*The website calls it a $20,000 scholarship and a $50,000 scholarship, so I’m pushing for whomever wins to make sure she goes for the bigger number. Twerk for the stars.

No one blurs the line between MTV music video and straight-up pornography better (?) than Rihanna, who, in her “Pour It Up” music video, grinds on a throne, slides her hand up and down her “groin,” and seems to lord over an aquatic gentlemen’s club that employs only the finest twerking strippers in the business. It’s a solid business model (the poles clean themselves!), but I’d probably stay away from the water. You don’t know what’s been in there.

(GIFs via)

Megan Thee Stallion knows that her critics’ favorite way to knock her hustle is by asserting that “all she does is twerk,” but she’s not having any parts of that talk. In a post from her Apple Music X Genius interview posted to Genius’ Instagram yesterday, Meg acknowledges the criticism, but refutes it with a long list of counterexamples. She also suggests that those critics might be seeing what they want to see, rather than the reality of the situation.

“I don’t know when it happened, that sometimes people get offended by twerking,” she says in the clip. “But that sh*t is crazy. Like, I love to throw my ass. I love to shake my ass. That’s one of my favorite things to do. And I be seeing motherf*ckers be like, ‘All you do is shake yo’ ass.'” However, she says, “I be like, ‘Damn. Actually, I got to school and I rap and sometime I be cookin’. I’m a dog mom. I’m an awesome friend.”

She then posits a possible explanation for those nitpickers’ nagging ways: “It’s not all I be doing, it’s just that maybe when you loggin’ in, you came to see me twerk, ’cause you ain’t see that freestyle I just dropped? I can rap and twerk.”

Megan’s right about one thing: She certainly can do both. New Orleans bounce legend Big Freedia once put her in the “twerk hall of fame” of the new generation of rappers with Cardi B and City Girls, while Meg herself previously called out hip-hop’s gendered double-standard as one of the reasons why she can’t slack when it comes to bars.

Check out Megan’s interview clip above.

Lizzo has been one of the most vocal proponents of body positivity in pop music in recent memory. As a Black woman of size, she’s been very open about the cultural pressures she’s faced, not only growing up, but even after making it as a global star. So, she took it upon herself to help share the history of twerking with the world, since this ass-shaking dance also represents a major component in her own acceptance of herself. In the talk, she lets fans know that her butt was her least favorite part of her own body, and that embracing twerking was what helped her see it as a positive.

But she also wants to be clear about the rich twerking of history, which was derived from Black people and culture, with a direct parallel to West African dances like mapouka. As Lizzo explains, the dance was carried over to America through the transatlantic slave trade, and she traces it from Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith to Josephine Baker and more. “Black people will not be erased from the history, the creation, and the innovation of twerking,” she asserts. And it’s definitely stars like Lizzo that will make sure this history remains intact. Check out the full talk above.

Lizzo might be the modern expert on twerking, never afraid to get her “heinie” (as she calls it) out there and get it shaking. And that’s especially important because of the Black history of twerking that has been all but erased from the modern understanding of it, where young white teens are imitating the dance on TikTok with no real understanding of the context they’re appropriating.

That’s part of why Lizzo felt so compelled to make a whole TED Talk about the history of the dance, rather gently bringing up how Miley Cyrus’ lighting rod performance, which included some twerking, at the 2013 VMAs catapulted the dance to mainstream attention — and did so in a way that didn’t do the best job of honoring its origins. And apparently, Miley actually took the conversation in stride, mentioning to Lizzo that she watched the TED Talk herself and “really loved it.”

“I mention Miley Cyrus in my TED Talk,” Lizzo told People in a recent interview. “And I’m very delicate with how I mention her because, at the end of the day, I didn’t want to have any bias in the way I talked about how she brought twerking to mainstream. The messenger is kind of how this thing spread like it did — seeing her at the VMAs. And I saw her recently and she was like, ‘I watched your TED Talk and I really loved it. Thank you for that.'”

Stay classy Miley, that’s the appropriate response. If you haven’t watched it yet, check out Lizzo’s love letter to twerking up top.

While the official rules state that the deadline is tonight at 11:59:59 PM ET, rapper and Three Six Mafia founding member Juicy J claims that the submission deadline for his college scholarship contest has already come and gone. Now, according to his website, Juicy J is currently reviewing all of the video submissions that he has received ever since he offered a $50,000 scholarship* to go along with his new aptly-titled single, “Scholarship.”

According to the rules, one lucky lady will receive the fat stack of cash by simply explaining why she deserves it and incorporating “Scholarship” into the video somehow, and because it includes the line “Keep twerking, baby, might earn you a scholarship,” at least one entrant has submitted a video of herself twerking, and that video has become a mild YouTube hit.

The young woman in the video is Northern Kentucky University freshman Morgan Bruin, who claims that she wants the scholarship so that she can eventually “join the Peace Corps and stuff.” She has my vote, Juicy J.

*The website calls it a $20,000 scholarship and a $50,000 scholarship, so I’m pushing for whomever wins to make sure she goes for the bigger number. Twerk for the stars.

Did you see Miley Cyrus’ portrayal of a twerking Michele Bachmann on SNL the other night? Well, Bachmann herself did see and she wants everyone to know she’s “never done twerking” in her life.

Reports Talking Points Memo:

Speaking on a conference call with conservative talk show host Rusty Humphries and TheTeaParty.net, Bachmann estimated that she’s been lampooned on SNL six or seven times. She assured that she has a “good sense of humor” and never takes the sketches “personally.”

The SNL parody reworked the lyrics to Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop” around the government shutdown, with Cyrus and cast member Taran Killam impersonating Bachmann and House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). Bachmann said after the show aired, she received calls in her office from people who believed it was her appearing in the video.

“I will tell you, as a 57-year-old woman, it’s been a long time since I’ve been confused for a 20-year-old,” Bachmann said. “I’ve never done twerking in my life and I don’t intend to take it up.”

That may be the case, but we know Michele Bachmann — recently seen saying that Obama is ushering in the end times prophesized by Kirk Cameron in the bible — has corn-dogged with Rick Perry, so there’s that.

(GIF via Imgur)

Oh no. This will not do. Twerking has been around for years, but we all know that EVIL Miley Cyrus is to blame for inspiring these two women to go twerking on the New York City subway tracks. They thankfully avoided the third rail, as Gothamist notes, but please note how they have no problem with “twerking on the train,” but do have an issue with their faces being shown. You can’t have it both way, ladies: you must have your twerk, and twerk it, too.

(Via Gothamist)

Scott Winn and Brenden Bytheway found a unique way to promote their latest efforts using the stylings of a Stormtrooper Dance Team. Do you think these guys are sponsored by the Death Star? I hope so. I also hope this means we’ll see a follow-up with the Jedi Knight team and then they’ll do a ‘West Side Story’ inspired fight/dance! A girl can dream.

If you’d told me that one day someone would take the Star Wars: Kincect game and transform it into something not soul-crushing, I’d never have believed you. But here it is.

Image Via Kotaku

Well played Scott and Brenden. Well played.

Today in Billy Ray Cyrus news, Billy Ray Cyrus and a non-famous person named Buck 22 have released a brand-new music video for “Achy Breaky 2,” a sequel to Miley’s dad’s hit 1992 single “Achy Breaky Heart” that is basically the same exact song, only even worse and with more rapping.

As for the video, it’s basically the exact sort of thing you would expect for Billy Ray Cyrus to put out into the world, which is to say there are naked women twerking in a spaceship, fiddles, former CNN host Larry King and the totally unnecessary wearing of sunglasses indoors. And after suffering through all 3 1/2 awful, misogynistic, existential crisis-inducing minutes of it earlier today, I decided to make a list of five horrible (and timely!) things I’d rather do instead of watching it ever again.

Mistake Samuel L. Jackson for Laurence Fishburne, on purpose

If you saw the terribly uncomfortable Samuel L. Jackson-Sam Rubin video yesterday, you will know that mistaking Samuel L. Jackson for Laurence Fishburne is no fun at all for the person doing the mistaking. And yet mistaking Samuel L. Jackson for Laurence Fishburne on purpose, even at the risk of inciting another SLJ outburst and becoming a viral phenomenon in the worst way possible, is far preferable to the horrible prospect of re-watching “Achy Breaky 2.”

Watch all 12 seasons of “Murder, She Wrote” in a single sitting

NBC was once going to remake “Murder, She Wrote” with Octavia Spencer, until they realized it was probably not a great idea – something Angela Lansbury herself could’ve told them (and did, actually). What was also not a great idea was making 12 full seasons of the original “Murder, She Wrote,” and yet I’d be willing to sit through all 264 episodes (and four TV movies!) in a single sitting rather than re-watch the horrifying, soul-deadening debacle that is “Achy Breaky 2.” (Full Disclosure: The other night I watched the 1984 pilot episode of “Murder, She Wrote” on Netflix, at 1:00 in the morning, for absolutely no reason. Halfway through I realized it was basically the same thing as sleeping only with more Angela Lansbury and promptly turned in for the night.)

Go luging

Have you seen the luging competition at the Sochi Winter Olympics? Or any Winter Olympics, for that matter? Those people are absolutely bonkers. Here is what they do: They get on a sled. They lie down on the sled. They then hurl themselves and the sled at full speed down an ice-covered track while hoping to not die. And yet I would rather do that, without any prior training, than re-watch the music video for “Achy Breaky 2.”

Re-watch Kanye West’s “Bound 2” music video

Another recent infamous music video is Kanye West’s ridiculous clip for “Bound 2,” which involves Kanye and his wife Kim Kardashian gyrating on a motorcycle against projected nature scenes. It is absolutely terrible. And yet I would rather re-watch that video, several times in a row even, than put myself through the harrowing experience of viewing one more second of “Achy Breaky 2.”

Lick Bob Costas’s pink eye

As everyone no doubt knows by now, diminutive Sochi Winter Olympics anchor Bob Costas has come down with an awful case of pink eye, a super-gross condition that I have had before and let me tell you, it is really freaking sick. And yet still, still, I would rather lick all of the crusty, yellow morning discharge off of Bob Costas’s infected peepers than watch one single millisecond more of “Achy Breaky 2.”

Ok but seriously, you have to watch this:

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You thought twerking was over. You thought it couldn't possibly come back. You underestimated Russia and its tenacious, booty-shorted people.

The country that gave you Valentina Tereshkova and Olga Korbut now gives you these extraordinary women. What can we say to them? Thank you, I guess. Thank you for everything.

Helen Mirren turned 69 last week. Let that sink in for a moment as you watch this video of her twerking on Live With Kelly and Michael with the newly-single-because-of-a-prenup-dispute Michael Strahan.

Listen, I’m not into gerophilia or anything, but if Helen Mirren walked into a bar, I’d probably put the moves on her. No, actually, I’d do more than that. I’d make sweet, sweet love to her because damn, did you see those hips? Helen Mirren’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

[protected-iframe id=”4f3d50362d8431f334804bab8e2bdb5f-60970621-10222937″ info=”https://vine.co/v/M9TDZxFt2ll/embed/simple” width=”600″ height=”600″ frameborder=”0″]

Yeah, like you’re not going to watch this GIF all day. Please.

Twerking over, everyone go home. Dame Helen Mirren has outclassed us all.

On Aug 5, Dame Mirren was a guest on Live with Kelly and Michael, ostensibly to promote her new film “The Hundred-Foot Journey.” But how in good conscience could Michael and guest host Maria Menounos pass up the opportunity to get Mirren to shake it on national morning television?

Of course we all should collectively thank Harvard University for bestowing us with this gift. If not for the Hasty Pudding Theatrical Society, humanity might have continued on in perpetuity without Mirren's classy gyrations. 

While accepting the award for Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year in January, Mirren also accepted the challenge to play charades with the Queens of England. Bless you, whoever came up with these cue cards. Watch the entire spectacle play out below!

H/T [Vulture]

After showing off a year”s worth of ass in one day with her video for “Anaconda,” Nicki Minaj keeps it her most formidable asset out of sight in her cameo on Juicy J”s “Low” video and leaves the twerking to others.

Minaj comes in around 1:30 on the tune. Declaring she”s “fly every day,” she delivers a 40-second X-rated rhyme dressed relatively demurely in a black, then white, dress. Even if you're not a Minaj fan, you have to admire her sheer ubiquity these days, between her own “Anaconda,”  “Bang Bang” with Jessie J and Ariana Grande, Beyonce's remix of “Flawless” and now this…

Juicy J”s low voice combined with a hypnotic beat creates a slinky tune, as he, like Kelly Rowland earlier this year, talks about liking his “kisses down low.” Hey, at least he's practicing safe sex, as he tells us the only thing in his suitcase is condoms.

In addition to Minaj, Juicy J also enlists the aid of Lil Bibby and Young Thug.

Juicy J is up for two MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday for his feature on Katy Perry's “Dark Horse.”